Content and Zen-like

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~Thornton Wilder

I went to a good friends house last night for dinner and afterwards we all went to Winter Garden aGlow. In the course of the conversation, I stated simply that I am content with my life. I enjoy my job, love the people I work with, and can honestly see myself working there until retirement. I am comfortable in my apartment and living the apartment life. Granted, I've only been here for about 6 months, but there is a certain amount of relief in being an apartment tenant. I don't have the same worries and concerns as with a house. I feel that I can focus my time and energy in maintaing my life and relationships, not maintaining a house and yard.

Well, this started the hamster and his wheel in my brain. The more I think about it, the more I feel Content and Zen towards my life.

I have a plan for the next 6 months to a year. I won't plan any further out than that, because that's when Fate steps in and goes squish!

I'm going to continue working on my health. Gotta get that blood pressure down and weight while I'm at it.

I need to start putting money in savings and getting my household budget worked out. For one, my car is going to need to be replaced soon. For another, I'm sick of living pay check to pay check. And at some point in time, I really would like to buy a new TV for the living room. No particular reason ... just because I want one.

I'm going to focus on the simpler things in life. Spending time with my boy, friends and family but also spending time by myself. I've realized that I need my alone time to keep myself balanced and focused.

Lastly, I need to remind myself to give in once in a while and buy or do something not because it's a need but because it's a want.

I won't deny that this has been a difficult year for me. And while I am still dealing with the grief and fall out of the year, I am also counting the blessings in my life. My dragon said it best when he posted this quote on my Facebook page:

"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself"

Walter Anderson

I've spent far too much time wrapped in my hurt and sorrow. Because of that, I've missed out on something beautiful and precious ... my life.

Time to live my life.