Things I'd Do When I Become the Evil Overlord

I'm in the mood to post, but the thoughts in my head are not floating clearly...so instead I give you this....

No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en-masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

I wish I knew who to credit this to...seems like I've had it forever.

Enjoy!

The Road Trip

So, a month ago I received an invitation in the mail for my best friend and adopted sister. See, we went to High School together and pretty much spent the last two years of school running around with each other. Now, the last time I had seen everyone was 10 years ago, for Adam's funeral.

I am sad to say, that at first I seriously thought about not going. It would be so easy to make an excuse, find a reason to say no. I was scared, nervous, and uncertain. I wanted to be there for her special day...but at the same time, so many people to face, to explain why I never moved home, why I lost contact for so long...

I began making plans...a place to stay while in Lewiston, arrangements for my Son, someone to watch Sadie pup. But really, my feet dragged, my heart felt heavy at the thought of driving to the place I once called home.

I went through my hope chest one night, looking for some bits of my old poetry, thinking I'd update my blog with some old poems. What I really found were memories, pictures, stories, warmth and friendship...so many things forgotten with the new life I'd built 300 miles away.

That changed my whole perspective on the trip. I began looking forward to the drive north...I couldn't wait to see Taz, Mudpup, Gnome and everyone else.

What a joyous feeling to be reunited with my Pack Family! The love, friendship, the hugs, caring and fierce protectiveness over each other. So many happy memories, tinged with sorrow for the few not able to make it. I felt better about myself and the world around me than I had in a very long time. We laughed about old times, cried our hurt on each others shoulders, and reveled in being together again.

The wedding was beautiful, the reception nice, the party at the Alibi was a blast! I do feel a bit guilty that my ex felt he had to leave when I got to the Alibi. I was only avoiding him at the wedding because, well, if he tried to talk to me there I'm sure we would have had words, and not kind ones, which did not need to happen at the wedding. Oh well...

So, all in all...it was a great trip! And needed too...as I left Saturday afternoon to meet up with my family and little boy, I was already looking forward to the next time I could drive up for a visit...and hopefully soon. At, least sooner than 10 years...