Sigh

Another long day is almost at an end...

This was our first bowling night with Sadie...poor pup. I let her out to play and run around before we left, but it was only for 1/2 hour. Instead of putting her in the crate, I put her in my bathroom, hoping that having room to play in would help. Alas, she left some pretty good sized gouges from teeth and claws on the door jam...guess I'll have to figure something else out...I'm worried that adopting her was a bad idea...and yet, I love her so much. She is a wonderful companion on those nights that my Son is with his Dad. I worry though, that she's getting enough attention, play time, and proper training.

I'm feeling kind of lonely tonight...tired of dreaming of someone who is not in my life...and knowing my luck, never will be. I have to admit that he is just a dream...and really, I don't want to. I want to find the kind of happiness that my friends and family have found. A partner, a companion, a beloved, and much more...it's not gonna happen and I have to be ok with that. I need to be strong for my Son, for my family and friends...

Sigh...time to shower and crawl into bed...part of me hopes for the dreams where he is there...wrapping me in his arms, surrounding my tired soul, weary heart with his unconditional love. Sometimes during the day, I can almost feel his arms, feel his breath on my neck...sometimes I even think I hear his voice...then I remember, he is a dream...
Maybe I should pray I don't dream tonight...but then again...at least in my dreams of him, I can at least snatch a tiny bit of love, comfort and so much more....