Fighting Despair

Today should have been just another day.

Instead, I found myself despairing of ever making it. My house payment was due today and there just isn't enough money in the account to cover it. I only pray it doesn't clear my checkbook until I get paid Friday.

I still haven't heard anything from CWI. I don't know if they've accepted my application or not. I'll have to call tomorrow and see what I can learn.

I'm getting low on gas in the car and I'm pretty sure there's not enough to get me through till payday in two days. There's another check I'll have to write and pray.

My dryer is acting up and I'm fairly certain there's something wrong with the heating element.

I'm just plain flat tired. Tired of struggling paycheck to paycheck to make ends meet. Tired of everything that needs to be done around the house that never seems to get done.

I'm tired of dealing with my Ex. I wish he would get it that we are done, through, finished.

I'm tired of hurting. My heart and soul ache to feel loving arms holding me tight. Even though I know the time is not right and I need to heal more, I still ache.

I wish I could run away from it all.

Tomorrow is another day. Everything will look better in the light of a new day.

For tonight though, I'll give in to the despair and cry myself to sleep.

Then again, maybe not. There's always hope.